What It is Like to Be Lost! How to Overcome the Feeling!
As I stumbled through truck loads of articles, I had an epiphany. I discovered that I was lost and did not know what I was going to do next? Have you had this deep feeling that you just do not feel as if you belong and that every route you take leads to a road of deception, failure and downright disappointment? These thoughts are negative, but it is the truth. Failures can always lead to success if you decide to ask for help or think outside the box for a solution to the problem. Being lost is a horrible feeling and leads to stagnation and feelings of being “stuck.” However, being lost can also lead to success and ideas that can fulfill your inner being and life purpose. Many times, being lost is the route to finding yourself.
Experiencing Trauma can cause this “lost” feeling. The feeling of not ever being able to move on and to live a normal life. It never feels as if the pain will ever go away! I can relate because of the severe trauma I have experienced. Still today, I find myself in deep thought of feeling lost and if the paths I have chosen are the correct ones. The answer to this question is: You will never know the right path because every path is the right one. Even when a path we chose turns sour or creates trauma we learn from the experience. Learning is always important and a necessity of life. IT IS NORMAL TO FEEL ABNORMAL! Without learning how to solve problems, deal with stressors and acquire healthy coping strategies you will not be able to find the path that most compliments your personality and creates movement to fulfillment.
A career that is un-fulfilling and become mundane can also create feelings of being lost. Doing the same thing day in a day out for the sole purpose of putting food on the table. Even though putting food on the table is important, it does not mean the job you do is enriching you and fulfilling that need for fulfillment. Many people I have as clients report that there is an “empty” feeling within them that they cannot seem to get rid of. Many of my clients’ report having so much love around them, and feel ashamed or guilty because they still feel incomplete because of a certain area in their life is not fulfilling, Most of the time my client’s job is an issue and the core problem of his or her feelings of emptiness.
I wish that life would have dealt me an easier hand, but then I would not be wise enough to type these words and relate to my audience. Being lost myself gave me the tools and step by step knowledge of how to teach others to find themselves and live a fulfilling life. I have developed a much more deeper understanding and empathetic personality when it comes to hearing and understanding My clients’ stories of trauma.
Feeling lost is a horrible feeling, but the first step to realize is that in order to progress you must be lost. People of fame and fortune were once lost and continued in choosing paths that were bad for them. However, because they continued to learn “what not to do” eventually taught them “what to do.” Resilience and the ability to see positive aspects even in failure helped these famous people move on and learn how to do things differently. You must create your own fulfillment and happiness. Life and others around you cannot do it for you. Most of the time, people who are handed things are less fulfilled because the journey was too easy and no lessons or understanding of the “struggle” were experienced. With struggle comes feelings of accomplishment and resilience.
A good example is my own personal struggle with using social media for advertising. I am bad at it, and at this point I want to throw my hands up and say forget it. However, I learn what does not work, what may work and ask others their opinions on what platforms would my type of business get clientele. Learning what not to do seems so meaningless, but then I learned that it means everything. Teaching others not to make the same mistakes creates a topic to how I can help others accomplish their dreams and fulfill their life purpose.
From this feeling of lost, I just continue to push myself to learn more and to continue to research. Hard work is most of the battle when you feel lost. The second half of the battle is to reach out and not be ashamed to ask for help. I had to reach out to my web developer for some assistance because that is what they specialize in and people need to reach out to those who specialize in helping others feel better about themselves, see the positive in being lost and know that being lost is part of the growing experience as well to learn new skills, ideas and behaviors. Imagine are children today and how they learn. A kindergartener entering school on the first day. He or she feels lost and confused. You, as the parent know that they are about to learn what they need to get through life, but they do not realize, now they enter the school, that they must feel this lost experience to better themselves as adults. You see the fear in their eyes and sense they feel lost in a world they have no idea about. As a parent who has experienced this you are able to help your child navigate through the new experience of school life. As a mental health consultant and life coach, it is my role to help my clients do the same. Even as adults we still must learn lessons in life. Learning does not stop when we finish school. How boring life would be and how mundane would that become if we never had to solve a problem, feel success and discover emotions of sadness and joy.
“YOU ARE IN SCHOOL YOUR WHOLE LIFE LEARNING!” You would not want your kids to try to learn on their own so why do you expect yourself to learn on your own. Sure, there are many self-help books, but most of the time I have found them very general and lacking substance. Most of the time, people call me and want to know what certain words and topics mean in the self-help books. Self-Help books are beneficial, but only when you can bounce ideas off someone who can guide you to your own self-discovery. Not everything in a self-help book is guaranteed to work for everyone. You must have the knowledge to choose what works best for you. Again, imagine your kindergartener walking in a kindergarten room full of books. Would that be permissible to you, or does your child need a teacher to guide them in the right way to learn basic school subjects?
There is nothing wrong with asking someone for ideas or advice. There are many things that we can spend money on but investing in yourself and your own happiness is the best way to make your life fulfilling and others around you happy. As adults’ children model our behavior. Do we want them to model the ability to solve problems or remain stuck? Invest in computer games or invest in themselves to become fulfilled and satisfied. It is okay to be lost, and one of the main things we need to teach our children. Being lost is needed so that we all learn how to come back to ourselves. Its when we make “being lost” a problem instead of a road to fulfillment and happiness.
It would be an honor for me to begin to assist you on your journey to discovering yourself. You can schedule a 30-minute No Cost Session to learn about Life Coaching versus Mental Health Consulting and what best would fit your individual needs. Click here to schedule.